Women Who like Football

A few months ago, my housemate and I went to watch a soccer game on television at a local bar with a male teacher from our school. The place was packed, but we were the only women. When I asked the teacher why that was he laughed and said “Women don’t like football.” At that exact moment, the camera panned over the crowd at the football match, showing a Rwandan woman cheering enthusiastically.

“She likes football,” I said.

 I wasn’t expecting a lot in the way of female relationships when I stepped out on this journey a year ago. I was warned that in Rwanda, because women are expected to stay home more, it is hard to really get to know them. In this regard, my experience has been more than I could have ever imagined. I have met some of the most amazing women I have ever known this year. I have met women from all over Rwanda, Africa, and the world that have lifted me up, inspired me, and shown me what ‘being a woman’ really means.

In gratitude, I have written this post for all of them. This is for all the women who refuse to squeeze neatly inside the mold of femininity that history and culture have prepared for them, for all the women who fight to be heard, who struggle for control of their own bodies, who demand equal rights. This one is for all the women, especially those I have met this year, who by their actions continue to teach me, to ‘mother’ me, to show me how to navigate a world that so often doesn’t even invite us to watch the game. In a world that so often tells women we “can’t”, “shouldn’t”, or “don’t”, this is for all the women who are defiantly themselves, the Women Who like Football.

This year, these women have taught me that "Women are"....

BRAVE

The wonderful Laura and I on our first YAGM Rwanda Retreat.

Laura, 26, USA

How I know her: A fellow YAGM Rwanda, Laura lives a three hour bus ride from me. This year, she has become a pillar of strength for me to lean on when I seriously miss home or chocolate or both.

She inspires me because: After losing her dad just two years ago, Laura fearlessly left a stable job and a loving community to follow God’s call to Rwanda (where she jumped head-first into teaching university-level English courses)! She is perpetually positive, always finding the good in everyone and everything, and is bravely charting her own course for the future. She is constantly telling me not to worry, that things will work out, and she makes me believe it.

Her advice for young women: “Listen to yourself and be true to that even if other people don’t get it. Don’t apologize for who you are or what you think. Be friends with lots of different people but seek out people that really do get you the way you are.”

RESILIENT

Alice and I the day she taught me to crochet!

Alice, 23, Rwanda

How I know her: Alice works at a local bakery, and we struck up a friendship due to my EXCESSIVE purchasing of cinnamon rolls (whoops). She offered to teach me how to crochet, and the rest is history!

She inspires me because: At four years old, Alice lost her parents in the Rwandan Genocide and found herself in an orphanage in the northern part of the country. Seven years later, she was reunited with her brother and sister who had been refugees in Congo, but her orphanage was full and they could not stay with her. She began to take whatever she was given at the orphanage-soap, bread, school materials, and split them with her siblings outside so they could survive. She taught herself English at a young age, and Alice now uses the money she makes working at the bakery and making some small crotched items to pay for her brother’s secondary school fees. She dreams of one day opening her own business and selling her crochet designs on a larger scale.

Her advice for young women: “Be strong and respect yourself. Sometimes women think they are not strong. Especially in Rwanda they think men can do anything and they are nothing, but really women can do anything men can do.”

ADVENTUROUS

Maureen with the nursing students in Kibungo!

Maureen, 60, United Kingdom

How I know her: I met her through a friend at the bakery (again, cinnamon rolls), and she volunteers just down the street teaching at the Nursing School in town. We have become close friends, attending Aerobics class and getting goat brochettes together once a week.

She inspires me because: Maureen, a spunky single lady, has lived all over the world working as a nurse in war zones and developing countries for the last 40 years. A devout Catholic, Maureen dreams of a world where women can be priests. When I asked her why she stays a part of a church that tells her she can’t preach the gospel, she said “The church is my family. You don’t just abandon your family because you disagree with them. The only way you can change hearts is if you stay engaged in the conversation.” Did I mention this woman also attends an hour-long aerobics class every week and out-performs young men half her age? Yeah. She’s amazing.

Her advice for young women: "When they hear about my travels, so many women have told me 'Oh I always really wanted to do that but I didn't have time/money/courage'. So I would say to young women...If you want it, do it, go! You'll never regret it. Don't let anything stop you."

CALLED

Vero and I at school today making "silly faces".

Veronica, 27, Tanzania

How I know her: She is a recently ordained pastor and missionary that works with the Lutheran Church of Rwanda! She also teaches Religion at RLS, and has become a close friend.

She inspires me because: Veronica knew from a young age she wanted to be a pastor, but there are still very few female pastors in East Africa so it's been tough. Though a loving family encouraged her to consider a more lucrative career, Veronica insisted she go to divinity school and, a few months ago, was finally ordained! A member of a thriving Lutheran community in Tanzania, Vero could have stayed home and found a parish near her family, but she felt convicted in her call to mission work. Thus, she left everything and came to help lead the Kigali parish as a missionary in Rwanda. Veronica has a huge smile and an even bigger heart, and would drop everything to make you a mean coconut curry inspired by the flavors of her coastal home, Dar es Salaam, Tanzania.

Her advice for young women: “Our communities think that women need certain things to define us and make us look great, but I believe that young women can stand out and do good in a community just being who they are. I would say LOVE YOURSELF and trust your own abilities!”


and of course, Happy Mother's Day to the woman who has taught me to be...

DETERMINED

Mom and "I" at a TCU tailgate in October. I can't WAIT
to see her in Rwanda in less than 3 WEEKS!

Julie, 50, USA

How I know her: She’s my mom.

She inspires me because: There is no end to the number of ways my mom has inspired me. She has worked tirelessly for equal pay in a male-dominated industry for 20 years, and she makes no apologies about doing it all while rocking heels and a faux-fur vest. Almost one year ago, it was my mom that drove me to the airport alone, and as we clung to each other-faces flooded with tears, it was she that had the strength to encourage me to get on the plane. Her belief in me has carried me through some dark days this year, and I am privileged to be her daughter.

Her advice for young women: “Don’t let others define you. Don’t let stereotypes and discrimination make you bitter. Use others’ negativity to help you be strong and determined. Show others through your actions who and what defines you.”

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These women are incredible, but the intros above don't scratch the surface of the cloud of female witnesses that have inspired me this year. They don't include the fierce lady-trio of Heidi, Brittany, and Stephanie who run the YAGM program, or Pastor Kate, my country coordinator/mentor/guru, or Ralen or Alyssa or Jessica or Brynn or Megan or the other wonderful and inspiring women serving YAGM years around the world! They don't include Celine and Jeanette, the two female teachers at RLS that exemplify caring educators or Robin, the visionary woman who started Rwamagana Lutheran School or Shukulu, the first RLS graduate to go to university (she started this week!).  

This program, this year, has brought me to my knees with thanks. I am thankful both that I get to walk this earth with such amazing women and thankful that on the journey, if I'm really lucky, I may get to be a little more like each of them.


Bonus: Here's a picture of some women (and Justice, Alpha, and Omega) doing women stuff. These women happen to be liking football (except Steph, but she was a trooper).